Monday, December 20

its the most, uh, wonderful time of the year

And so I am back in the neighbourhood I grew up in, and everyone is home again to make the whole area nostaglic. It's one of those times of year that becomes a long, spread-out high school reunion. If there wasnt' -19 degree weather out it would be like the summer all over again.

I always feel like I have this weird dynamic with the people I went to high school with. Not all, but I do have a definite love-hate relationship with high-school. I only did four years instead of five becuase fasttracking out just made sense to do: I wanted to move away, try university, and just stir-up my surroundings. (which in the long run turned out to be the best decision I ever made)

Also since I was in a relationship for the entire time I was in high school, so I really only crushed on guys in my classes in a hypothetical way. And then it was winter break of my frosh year and I was newly-single, at the bar with friends and I bumped into a guy from high school. I had always thought he was cute so we played pool and hung out. And being single suddenly made the most sense to me; this idea that I could just flity-chill with a guy I had once crushed on to see if anything realy could have ever happened.

After my full first year of university, I was invited to prom (for the third time, how impressive) and at the after-party I made-out with a someone I hadn't really known in high school. I think the whole atmosphere that made me do it- it just felt so stereotypical prom. Prom boy also ended being someone not worth pursuing further.

However the best return-to-high school rendezvous happened when I "dated" a guy who had been my grade nine crush. He, BaseballBoy, had been in OAC (grade 13, for all you non-Ontarians) when I was in grade 9 and I was in love with him. In typical fourteen-year-old styles he totally knew I had a crush but he was also dating the most intimidating girl possible.

Then two summers ago I ran into BaseballBoy at the bar and he told me he had been watching me all night. He asked me out on a date and I totally reverted to my grade nine self and was beyond estatic. We had some very fabulous Danny-Zucko-Sandea-Dee moments at the end of that summer, and that was that. He's got a very long-term girlfriend now, how cliche.

The whole point of re-visiting high school crushes is simply to put an answer to that lingering "...what if?" Because maybe it's just comforting, as we get older, to pretend for a bit that we are all still in high school and things are simple and so localized. And yet, that seems so overly idealistic that it becomes not interesting to me. Perhaps I am just more attracted to things which are father away, things that are more complicated. Doing it that way is a lot more fun in the long run, anyways.