Monday, December 13

This is something for all guys to consider: If you're making it with a girl and you compliment her, her body, the sex... you are solid. It all relates to that confidence thing everyone is talking about.

Because a guy who is willing to negate his ambiguity with a girl is awesome. As far as I am concerned, if you're just hooking up with someone, you technically don't need to be all affection and compliments during sex. Vocalizing your attraction to someone can cause confusion; it leads to thinking "is he just saying that cos I'm giving him head, or does he really mean what he's saying about me?

But then consider that sometimes being naked around a guy is really nerve wracking. No matter how hot things are, I still hear little voices questioning me Does everything look good right now? And then I have mini-panics, such as fears that I don't look perfect, worries I forgot to shave somewhere or I start questioning if I look fat from behind. These nerves can ruin a mood and can freak out the most confident girl during sex and the like.

And so I maintain there is no better way to make yourself look fabulous during sex than by complimenting your partner. Not the usual cliches of "you're hot", because you have to make whatever you say not sound like a line. When it's flirty and honest and unique, a compliment works just as well as a martini: he looks good for giving it to you, and you've got some newly-induced courage.

So when ConfidentMysteryCrush runs his fingers over my tummy and tells me I have the most perfect bum ever and then pulls me close and declares "you're so tiny, oooh! where is the rest of you?" I am delighted and don't care that I break the rules becuase he tells me to stay and he will give me a drive home in the morning.