Sunday, January 2

C'est 2005!

Oh wow, what a fabulous New Years it was!

My friends rented out a bar in London and everyone went completly semi-formal-formal styles for the night; the place was packed, I always had a drink in my hand, and most of my memories and fuzzy and random.

My date for the night was my Gay Boyfriend Steve. He came up from Toronto and wore a custom-made "FUCK 2004" shirt. And Terra and I rang in both Toronto and Halifax New Years on our cellys at the different midnights. Exactly how New Years should be.

I lost my underwear sometime after midnight, when I was making out with my crush (that is, ConfidentMysteryCrush) outside the bar. There was snow on the ground, I didn't want to take my shoes off, and so it got lost in the shuffle of things. My drunk-self announced this to the rest of my friends throughout the night.

Then I spent the rest of the night making out with a friend, simply becuase we were rowdy and thought it was a good idea. Amazing what the holidays will do to you.

I had been thinking of making a New Years Resolution to deal with all of my incontrolable behaviour, but I wasn't able to come up with anything reasonable.


Like:
vow of abstinence, yeah fucking right.
vow of sobriety, even more difficult.
vow of responsibility, too tangible for my changing moods.

And suddenly I thought, what if I made 2005 the year of the boyfriend. Is it possible for I, the jaded relationship hater, to resolve to get a boyfriend over the next 12 months?

2004 was a good year, but even with all the guys I hooked up with, there were very few I would want to call my boyfriend. And when I did meet the ones I really liked, they weren't available (either living in other cities or foolishly dating other girls). And even without a suitable match I still have all those issues with committment.

So perhaps this resolution is a good one to make because following it through would really require some effort on my part. On the other hand, I always expected when I was ready to date again that a whole realtionship thing would just fall into my lap; it would be an unconcious desision.

GAH. I think I need more time to consider this resolution.