Monday, March 21

you should all do this...

One thing you may or may not know about me:

I have kept a real, pen and paper journal for the past thirteen years of my life. There are volumes upon volumes of it, most of which are stored at my parent's house, but some of which I need to keep on hand at all times. They are not only detailed records of people I have known, events I have participated in, and times which no longer exist, but they join together to make this entire archive of Paige-life. The amount of time I spend reflecting on old journal entries is borderline unhealthy, and yet the best way to re-shape my current perspective on life.

Sometimes I think I keep a diary for that specific reason: one day someone will care to know exactly what I was thinking and doing throughout my life.

There are times when blogging takes over from the handwriting. This frustrates me because I want the feelings, words, and thoughts to be on paper first. Not because I don't want them to be read online; rather I just want to have a hard copy of everything I write.

Like who's to say that some server won't crash and I won't lose all my work? I used to have an online journal when I was fourteen and I wrote so much and didn't save any of it. The site is gone now and I am so upset to have lost all those words.

One of the most interesting things about the multiple diaries I have is that they aren't hidden. I feel like there are unwritten rules protecting their contents from outside consumption. There is a certain shame that you feel when you read someone's private diary, and I feel like this is what saves my writing. Or at least I hope this is what protects it: my parents could be enjoying teenage stories of after school sex and all-night raves right now, for all I know.

(make sure to check out Journalisimo if you haven't already)