Wednesday, October 12


Okay so two weekends ago I was out at the bar and ended up spending a great part of my night with a few random guys and their one girlfriend. I stuck around because the guys had British accents; I was fairly drunk and it amused me (in a London cokehead sort of way). Plus I got to be called a bird all night while I watched them smoke fags. I may have had a cute little sidewalk make-out with one of them.

Today I suddenly thought of the possibility that they were not actually British. I'll admit it, I came to this conclusion after wondering why I hadn't heard from them yet. And what made the most sense was that they couldn't call me because then they would have to keep pretending to be British.

Now now, extreme vanity is not my only reason to be suspicious. First of all, they made a point of showing off their "Canadian" accents. This dorky-but-perfect way of speaking had apparently been acquired because both have lived in Ontario for six years. Unfortunately the British just didn't seem as real after that.

At the same time, on many occasions I have witnessed my own friends using fake accents to impress girls at the bar. It always works, to the point where one of my friends will switch into British mode without even realizing it.

Ahh who am I kidding? I'm just doing whatever I can to justify my lack of call-back.

(Anonymous commenter saying something snarky about my needing to stop being so selfish... after the jump.)