Monday, June 26

There are four people whom I actively ignore, and I think that’s an okay number of people to have permanently exiled from my reality. It’s not like I’ve blacklisted every person that has pissed me off; in fact I generally make it a point to “keep my friends close and my enemies closer”. However, sometimes when relationships end—be it friendships or romances—you really just need your former counterpart to no longer exist.

Okay, I realize at first that the whole concept of ignoring someone seems incredibly childish. And certainly in most cases I think it’s better to face-up to those you do not like rather than to pretend nothing has happened. But if you honestly have nothing (nice) to say, I do recommend taking up the art of ignoring.

For two of the people I dislike, it’s a case of mutual silent treatment. One is a girl whom I used to be very close with. We share some of the same friends, occasionally go to the same parties, and even attended the same graduation, standing only a few alphabetical people apart all day. And we haven’t said a word to each other in over a year.

I like the way our new relationship works. Our friendship ended on obviously strange terms and we easily could have decided to start bitchy in-your-face fights at every chance meeting. (And trust me, it’s not like we’re lacking on drama.) But instead, somehow without discussing it, we’ve just decided to write each other off. We don’t give cut-eye glances; we stare past each other. We don’t ask common friends about each other; we claim a complete lack of concern. (Okay, only sometimes—because other times the gossip is too delish to pass on.)

Boys, on the other hand, are less likely to suddenly take part in the “let’s pretend we don’t know each other” dialectic. Maybe it’s late-onset guilt, or perhaps he really is that vapid—but isn’t it always the one ex you don’t want anything to do with that deems it important to keep the communication lines open long after you’ve broken up?

Which brings me to another person whom I like to pretend doesn’t exist. And in this case, it really is necessary for me to no longer speak to him—not because I get upset or beg for him to take me back, but because my actions are always misinterpreted as so. I don't have the time for shit like that, so it just seems safer to ignore.

And really, what can we discuss other than ”so… we’re both seeing other people now… yeah….” considering we were never friends to begin with? He, however, has yet to get this memo, causing me to become very good at making sudden disappearances.

Yes, four is just enough people to actively keep off your radar in Toronto. Everyone else: we're just going to have to get along.