Wednesday, August 30

When you are on public transit every day you begin to notice the same people going to and from work. The only people out at 7:30am are, after all, those with a professional requirement to be somewhere. (Okay, and the occasional early-am walk of shamer, but you’d never mistake her for an employee.)

Anyways, I know there are a diverse range of jobs out there, and I know that not all places require even business casual attire, but morning after morning I witness some of the worst clothing choices ever. And as it’s summer, the biggest offender is always the shoe.

Shoe Photo Essay: Why Would You Think That's Acceptable to Wear to Work??

The black stiletto with camo-pants: See, this would be a mildly-acceptable office shoe (though still an ugly one) had the wearer not paired it with army fatigues. Darling, you are going to work, not starring in a BeyoncĂ© video—please reserve this look for Saturday night on Richmond Street. (It should also be noted she was carrying a faux-fur shoulder bag and had white-girl cornrows.)

Flip-flops and blue toes: There is a lot I could say about wearing flip-flops to work (will you be teaching CPR and doing aqua-fit today?) but I’m simply too distracted by the grade-four-styles blue toe polish. Which is actually not just blue, but a delicately painted multi-shade floral pattern. Please, go get a real woman’s pedicure and then we can talk about the shoes.

Sequins and stacked heels: This one’s hard to see, but all you need to know is that it involves a 55-year-old woman, pink, purple, green, and gold sequins, and a 2-inch wooden wedge stacked heel. At 7:30am. No, no, no!

Patent leather whore-platform: Click here to see this shoe in all it’s glory. Then tell me if you would ask your secretary for a lap dance if she showed up to work in those. Honestly, I don’t even think I could wear those to a bar without feeling extremely awkward. The girl has guts, I’ll give her that much.