Tuesday, January 16

So the Dear MTV segments run every Monday on MTV Live, but since time is always so short for me to get everything good in, and because I also still get this deer-in-headlights feeling when the camera is on, expanded Paige-advice will now, sometimes, be posted here.

Dear MTV—I’ve been friends with a guy for 3 years. Two years ago, we confessed we both liked each other, but we were in relationships at the time, so we began seeing each other on the side. My relationship crumbled as a result, but his went strong until last week, when he broke up with her. Now, I’m worried about us—will he still want me, or keep us a secret? It's hard to hang out with him and not flirt or fool around. Plus, I can talk to him about anything. He says he cares about me, but doesn’t know if its love. What should I do?

At first glance, you think, “okay, it’s not the ideal way to start a relationship, but it could work…” However, then you read between the lines and realize that a) girly is straining to sound positive about how it is between her and boy, and b) that she’s writing in because her friends are so sick of hearing about how buddy is using her that they’ve become experts at ignoring her “but we can talk about anything” bullshit and are have been doing nothing but telling her to move on for the last two years.

You’re in denial about being the other woman, and also in denial that your “friend” cares for you. Once upon a time I was in a similar situation. I’ve had friends in this situation as well. So I know how difficult it is to realize that you’re not his one, you’re just a rebound, easy-fuck, booty call who dropped everything to accommodate his selfish needs. Alternately, if he’s really your friend then that means you’re friendly with his now-ex and so trust me: if you publicly hook up with him she’ll set out on a huge mission to destroy your life.

And sorry, but now that he’s single he won’t want to start dating you, because what young person ends a long term relationship to jump right into another one? You’re not middle aged people, out of your dating prime, torn between sexy love and serious relationships—you’re young kids, and bf/gfs are as easy to find as keg parties. If he was serious about being serious with you he’d have done it years ago. He’s going to start doing as many girls as possible, not start taking you home for dinner. And also possibly get back together with his ex in oh, less than three months.

It might be easier said than done but just stop hanging out with him! Go on ignore mode, block his msn, don’t stalk his Facebook, and stop searching out what bars and parties he’s at. Yeah, it’ll probably take a year or two before you’re really over him, and then another year to recover from the embarrassment of having been such a lust-sick lapdog, but it’ll be worth it in the end. You won’t spend so many nights crying after watching him leave the bar with someone else while you’re stuck standing alone in the corner, lamenting the time you spent earlier cleaning your room and shaving your legs in anticipation of getting it on with him.