Tuesday, April 3

If you've had a conversation with me over the last three-or-so weeks, you will have most certainly been bombarded by my love for Slice. Hello, best thing to happen to Canadian television since, well, MTV gave CanCon pop culture something to fight for. Or be fought over, depending on who you ask.

Slice is essentially nothing more than the Life Network with better branding, but this is exactly what our television landscape was lacking. One catchy slogan (drunken Paige shouts "Slice is MY VICE!!" while grabbing the remote from the boyfriend), dozens of clever ads ("I started watching Slice because my friends are boring. And, I hope, illiterate."), and incredible on-air promos (Don't you want… traces of peanuts? …AT A MALL!) all combine to give Slice an automatic boost over any other Canadian station. The strong brand identity means viewers don't need to know, or even care, what exactly is on—they'll tune in because Slice simply promises to deliver.

And deliver it does. I did my share of Life Network viewing back in the day, but the amped up programming of Slice keeps me locked on channel 41. It's just sooo entertaining, always providing the perfect distraction. (And ego boost, because I'm not in debt, constantly berating my spouse, or raising a family of bratty kids.) Even the online portal is clever—Slice.ca is filled with gossipy articles, advice tips, and personal tricks. I want to write for them. I want to work for Slice!

I also love that most of the shows are Canadian-made. That way, instead of watching the failing marriage of Jane and Billy from Nowhere, USA, I get to identify street signs and discover that this week's unhappy Newlywed, Nearly Dead couple is from Pickering. (In which case, I understand! I'd be on the brink of desperation too!) Same with Til Debt Do Us Part: I just care so much more about the monetary mishaps of others when I can identify with the cost of living.

And, if you're curious, Slice isn't just for girls. I don't want to name names, but I do know a certain group of men who were riveted by a recent episode of Rich Bride, Poor Bride. To the point that they talked about how bitchy the bridezilla was for days afterward. Which just proves, I'm not the only one starting conversations about a television channel.