Saturday, October 15

Last night Terra and I went on one of our best adventures to date!

It started earlier in the day when we spotted these signs outside an abandonded house downtown. They said "Possible Demolition Site" and were 4-feet high and hammered into the ground on iron stakes.

So of course, our goal for the night became getting said signs. We stayed at the bar as long as we could, but got really eager around 1:30am and left at the peak of inebriation.

Picture this. Two teeny girls running down the street in stilettos and shimmering shirts, giggling like idiots while kicking piles of leaves around. Until they come across two huge signs which they then start trying to pull out of the ground.

Let me tell you, it was not an easy job. The signs were zip-tied to the iron rebar which was six-feet high and stuck at least a foot into the ground. You had to pull each side a little bit at a time, to get the right leverage to get it out.

Of course, once we had the signs we had a new problem: how to get them home. Just so you know, huge signs are fucking HEAVY. The first issue was getting rid of the rebar, because it made awful noises as we dragged it down the road. Lucky for us our friend lived just a few blocks away and he was happy to come outside with a pair of scissors. We javolined the rebar after cutting it loose- how fun!

Another thing you may not know about sign stealing is that cabbies do not want to drive two girls and two massive signs. They will drive around you when you wave at them from the middle of the road, and even if you hide the signs in the bushes to hail a cab, the driver will ask you to get out of his car when the signs are revealed and the trunk is demanded open.

The trick is to flag down a car of three innocent Asian men, and tell them that you need help getting your signs home.

"We're environmentalists! We were just protesting the destruction of these houses and... we're environmentalists!"

"oooh oooh! We like environmentalists! We will help!"

So the hatch-back was left open, and Terra and I climbed into the back of the two-door to hold our signs (which were hanging out of the trunk) for the drive home. And we dare anyone to try and execute a sign-stealing escapade better than this one!